Dating. One night stands. Love. Life.
I have done it all. Committed long lasting relationships. Dating casually. Flirted. One night stands. Friends with Benefits. Leading guy(s) on. Dated 5 guys at once. Used a few (yes, I feel guilty looking back). I can help you on your significant other journey, no matter your goal.
The Rules.
1.) First and foremost, figure out what you are wanting. If you want a relationship, make that clear. If you just want to have some fun, don't act like you want more.
2.) Girls, quit blaming guys for being the players and heart breakers. Don't even try to act innocent. We all do it. We all have that one person we used because he had a car when you didn't. He bought you food when you were hungry. He paid for you to see that movie you were dying to see. He brought you flowers. But you had no interest him. But you wanted the bonuses you got with him. We all do it. Admit it and move on.
3.) Been hurt and broken over and over? Just got cheated on after a long ass relationship? Find your payback but not with the person who did it to you. If you do that, you'll first start off saying 'oh man I am so gonna make them pay for it' and believe you will only be winning them back to shit on their heart, but in the end, you will fall for the charm that got you with them in the first place and......be right back at square one. Unless you are a rare, strange breed, you will end up back in love. So I suggest you find someone, maybe a friend of a friend, maybe a guy who hinted he liked you but you brushed it off because you knew he was a serious d-bag. Find this d-bag, find the player, find that guy that thinks he is the shit and God's gift to women. Now the fun begins. Play him. Do what he does to all the girls. But of course, be discreet about it. Act like you are head over hills with him, but text two other guys while you watch that movie beside him. Let him beg you to come over every night after work, but be sure you see your other guys on the side, too. Let him feel like he is number one, let him think you are oblivious to his d-bag ways like all the other girls usually are with him, and then you throw him out like he does the bitches before you. Do it BEFORE he does it to you. You have to do a turn around on him. You have to damage that ego. He will wonder WTF is wrong with him now. Where he messed up. Prove how unimportant he really has been to you and how you actually love Billy from down the road and just liked hanging out for the 'insert something stupid like the way he fixes his tea here'. This will make you feel good. This will make you feel powerful. Like you can do anything. And you will feel awesome knowing you just did what a lot of girls that he previously played have dreamed about.
4.) One night stands. There is a code to these things. You need to go and do the deed and move on. They say only women get attached and want more from these things. But in my experience, we aren't the only ones. The best one night stands are the ones where you are not even friends. You met online, you met at a party, you met at the bar. You have no mutual friends. Want the even better experience? Make sure you use a fake name. If the other person ends up wanting more or to find you again, they'll start asking around for a Mary even though your name is Shelly. It works if you really don't want anything more than a drunken night of fun. And yes, that's my way of saying be tipsy. Do it. Get it out of your system, girl. I am not here to judge you.
5.) Friends with Benefits. Let me state this now. These hardly EVER have good endings unless you end up dating each other out of it. Whether you knew each other before, have made a pact, are ex's knowing each others quirks, or just met. This will end badly. You can sign a contract saying no feelings need to be involved and I promise when this ends, no matter if it's because one of you gets in a relationship, one of you moves, or you just part ways, one of you will be left there in the dust, and it'll be a sex break up. It'll suck. And they will return to flying solo for a while. So proceed in these with caution. Extreme caution.
Note: It's REALLY REALLY REALLY not advised to do the whole 'FWB' thing with an ex. I get that you two know what you like and all that junk, but please, don't torture yourself with it. You will go through a second break up pretty much when it ends. Because it will. They're your ex for a reason in the first place, right?
6.) Using online dating sites as your hook up sites is really stupid. Looking at you, boys. I met my boyfriend that I have been with for a while now on a dating site, the same dating site my roommate found her husband and a few other people found their significant others. I had heard good things about it and figured, what the hell. My main annoying problem I had with the boys on the dating sites would have to be the d-bags who were looking for ass. There are sites that are STRICTLY for that. Go to them. Or just use Facebook. Go to a bar. I don't care. But quit putting 'seeking a relationship' when you clearly aren't. And for you people on dating sites even though you are in a committed relationship/marriage, there's a special place in hell for you. Hope your significant other finds out and does you dirty in return.
7.) Stop adding every person of the opposite sex on social media after a break up. We see you. We know what you're doing. Just stop.
8.) Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. If you have a person you love, keep them. And understand how they act. Boys are gonna check girls out. They are going to look at ass and boobs. They are going to watch porn. They are going to rate other chicks. Accept it. The more you complain, hate on it, etc. the more they'll hide from you. They aren't stopping, they just will learn to keep it from you better.
9.) Getting engaged before you finish college/after 2 months/because you're preggo. Well, let's just say love doesn't last. And it takes time before you really know someone. And you should be with someone in real life situations before saying 'I do'. You need to know that the slurping they do with their coffee at 6 am drives you insane, they suck at saving money, you can't rely on them to do the dishes before a science project starts growing on them, and you can't handle their aftermath in the bathroom. These are things that, as small as they seem, you will scream and fight about. If they can't handle money and bills, you probably won't last. You have to know you two can talk it out, and know how to work the problems out. By living in separate dorms, 30 minutes away, seeing each other once a week, only knowing each other 6 months, and being pregnant does not indicate love. It just means you should figure out what's going on and maybe have a long engagement, but just take your time.
10.) Last but not least, quit lying. Quit being things you aren't. Stop having your standards higher than they should be, stop judging books by their covers and get good at selling yourself if you are out there dating. Get to know yourself first, know who you are inside and out before you even start flirting. If you need to, spend alone time first. If you can't be by yourself and stand it, what makes you think someone else can?
4.) One night stands. There is a code to these things. You need to go and do the deed and move on. They say only women get attached and want more from these things. But in my experience, we aren't the only ones. The best one night stands are the ones where you are not even friends. You met online, you met at a party, you met at the bar. You have no mutual friends. Want the even better experience? Make sure you use a fake name. If the other person ends up wanting more or to find you again, they'll start asking around for a Mary even though your name is Shelly. It works if you really don't want anything more than a drunken night of fun. And yes, that's my way of saying be tipsy. Do it. Get it out of your system, girl. I am not here to judge you.
5.) Friends with Benefits. Let me state this now. These hardly EVER have good endings unless you end up dating each other out of it. Whether you knew each other before, have made a pact, are ex's knowing each others quirks, or just met. This will end badly. You can sign a contract saying no feelings need to be involved and I promise when this ends, no matter if it's because one of you gets in a relationship, one of you moves, or you just part ways, one of you will be left there in the dust, and it'll be a sex break up. It'll suck. And they will return to flying solo for a while. So proceed in these with caution. Extreme caution.
Note: It's REALLY REALLY REALLY not advised to do the whole 'FWB' thing with an ex. I get that you two know what you like and all that junk, but please, don't torture yourself with it. You will go through a second break up pretty much when it ends. Because it will. They're your ex for a reason in the first place, right?
6.) Using online dating sites as your hook up sites is really stupid. Looking at you, boys. I met my boyfriend that I have been with for a while now on a dating site, the same dating site my roommate found her husband and a few other people found their significant others. I had heard good things about it and figured, what the hell. My main annoying problem I had with the boys on the dating sites would have to be the d-bags who were looking for ass. There are sites that are STRICTLY for that. Go to them. Or just use Facebook. Go to a bar. I don't care. But quit putting 'seeking a relationship' when you clearly aren't. And for you people on dating sites even though you are in a committed relationship/marriage, there's a special place in hell for you. Hope your significant other finds out and does you dirty in return.
7.) Stop adding every person of the opposite sex on social media after a break up. We see you. We know what you're doing. Just stop.
8.) Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. If you have a person you love, keep them. And understand how they act. Boys are gonna check girls out. They are going to look at ass and boobs. They are going to watch porn. They are going to rate other chicks. Accept it. The more you complain, hate on it, etc. the more they'll hide from you. They aren't stopping, they just will learn to keep it from you better.
9.) Getting engaged before you finish college/after 2 months/because you're preggo. Well, let's just say love doesn't last. And it takes time before you really know someone. And you should be with someone in real life situations before saying 'I do'. You need to know that the slurping they do with their coffee at 6 am drives you insane, they suck at saving money, you can't rely on them to do the dishes before a science project starts growing on them, and you can't handle their aftermath in the bathroom. These are things that, as small as they seem, you will scream and fight about. If they can't handle money and bills, you probably won't last. You have to know you two can talk it out, and know how to work the problems out. By living in separate dorms, 30 minutes away, seeing each other once a week, only knowing each other 6 months, and being pregnant does not indicate love. It just means you should figure out what's going on and maybe have a long engagement, but just take your time.
10.) Last but not least, quit lying. Quit being things you aren't. Stop having your standards higher than they should be, stop judging books by their covers and get good at selling yourself if you are out there dating. Get to know yourself first, know who you are inside and out before you even start flirting. If you need to, spend alone time first. If you can't be by yourself and stand it, what makes you think someone else can?
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